I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I AM VODKA MAN
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
