that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
