You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
