Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
