we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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