is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
