I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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