if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
