We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A bitchslap is in order.
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