i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
