Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Found your dick twin last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
