Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
