Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
