i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
