Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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