Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
