i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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