Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
