you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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