i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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