Jerry, you need to find god
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
