Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
