Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
