Screwed.edu
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
