you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Randomize
