I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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