Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize