I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
These tits shall not be calmed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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