All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
