We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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