Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
