You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
