I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
