she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize