In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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