He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
