highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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