So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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