Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This baby is an asshole
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize