My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
