he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
