Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
