Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
