spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
