And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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