Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
