His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
