Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i drank out of a bidet.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
