I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
