I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
