dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
