garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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