I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
