A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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