don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
