Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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