I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
