I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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