I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
